It was a nice and bright first Wednesday of 2013 and I was all
set to start my day on a high and positive note when my maid arrived. I was
kind of unhappy with her for having skipped the last two days work. She came in
and greeted my with the New Year wishes and then she did the most unexpected
thing, she collapsed on the floor with tears in her eyes.
I was taken aback. I have never seen her crib for a single day
and here she looked shattered and in tears today. She is a single mother of two girls
and stays with her mother after the death of her husband. Her daughters are
quite well brought up and well behaved.
When inquired what happened I realized it was yet another story
of women losing confidence in this society. Her first daughter is in her 10th
and my maid is very determined to give her good education even if it means
losing a day’s meal. The incident that has shaken her ground concerns her
daughter. A guy visited her house on the first day of the New Year to give her
the news that he is in love with her daughter and wants to marry her and if
rejected he has threatened to kidnap her. What would happen to a mother
if she is threatened that her daughter who is the sole reason for her living
will be kidnapped if not handed over to a goon she hasn’t seen all her
life.
She now not knows what to do. The little girl is petrified
beyond imagination. She doesn’t want to stay in her house, doesn’t want to
study and wants to run away from the daunting situation. The mother is lost as
well, she wants to educate her daughter, give her a life that she hasn’t got
but now all dreams aspirations seems to be gone.
I am not worried, unhappy or sad but I am Frustrated. We call ourselves
citizens of free and independent country, but where is independence and freedom
for the women. I don’t want to drag the Delhi bus nightmare again but I have
only one question to ask: Is our independence and freedom rationed just because
we tick mark the female check box in an application form, just because our
creator made us look the way we look.
In a country which is called mother land, every third male wants
to strip the women of his country her dignity. What is wrong in this country
that is depriving the women the respect, freedom, and a livable environment? Is
it the law and order system, the education, the temptations or is this because
of the lost self respect of men who are ready to stoop down to any level just
to slake their immediate need.
The lady who is in this plight is worried to go to police as
well, she is scared as to how they may treat her considering her situation and
I understand her completely. How many of us are not apprehensive about going to
a police station alone where there are more men whom we don’t know whether to
trust or not. We are not even sure whether they would solve the problem or add
to it. For that matter even I am not comfortable walking into a government run
establishments. I don’t feel safe and secure not because I have read
stories but been subjected to the “advantages” the men take there for simple
lack of common sense and may be even space. I am not asking for chivalry here
but some space and respect for a person who needs it.
Many of the responsible men who run our country, industries have
their counter arguments to the recent happenings saying it’s the women who
provoke this. One esteemed lady who runs a state questioned the character of
another lady, a mother who was subjected to assault in her state. Does this
mean we us women don’t have the free will to do things that anyone else can do?
Am I not allowed to walk into a police station to give complaint
just because I may provoke the gentlemen there by just sitting across a desk?
Am I not allowed to go to work because I am worried that someone may mistake my
cheerfulness as a signal for them to approach me? Am I not allowed to have my
share of fun by watching a movie at whatever time I am free? Am I not allowed
to go to school and study because my male teacher might find me attractive and
misuse his position? Am I not allowed to party because someone in the party
will find me inviting? Am I not allowed to….. well there are a lot of things
not just me but a lot of my sisters, mothers, daughters are not allowed to do
because a man has a free will to assault her, strip her, eve tease her or even
murder her dignity.
What is the mother’s mistake in dreaming big for her daughter?
Should the girl leave her aspiration to study and become empowered woman just
because an uneducated, unemployed goon likes her?
I may not be able to answer the little girl’s problem completely
but my only request to all the female section of the society is to empower
yourself so that we are brave enough to defend ourselves in case of
emergencies. I request the parents with daughters and sisters to please send your little
girls to learn self defense. It may help them some day, please instill
confidence in them so that they are not helpless.
If we could take a leaf from the solution UN found to reduce the
number of abuse the UN peace keeping male soldiers did. UN introduced women to
the blue helmet peace keepers’ role in Liberia.
In 2004, UN Peacekeepers in three African countries were accused
of sexual misconduct. They gave local teenage girls food and money in exchange
for sex. In 2005, 47 peacekeepers were accused of such misconduct in Liberia
alone, a West African country of about 4 million, adjoining Ivory Coast.
Known as the "Blue Helmets", these women guarded the
President office by day and patrolled crime-ridden areas by night. Their
presence marked significant change.
Trained in sophisticated weaponry and combat tactics amongst
other skills, the Blue Helmets' foot patrolling by night reduced armed robbery by
as much as 65 per cent.
Local women felt safer; children felt safer; and men who were
not involved in crime, felt safer. For once, peacekeepers were not considered
invaders, which is otherwise a typical response from local communities towards
an armed foreign force.
Most importantly, local women felt encouraged to report sexual
assault. They knew they would neither be dismissed nor further victimized were
they to report rape or other violent crime to the women peacekeepers.
[courtesy: Vandana Kohli’s blog
http://ibnlive.in.com/blogs/vandanakohli/3381/64188/a-deterrent-to-rape-an-indian-example-abroad.html]
I am aware that many women may be able relate with this blog of
mine but I have few cents for men and their families as well. Please teach and
learn to respect women around you and not treat them as mere idols of pleasure.
It may not be too long before we lose respect for men.
